It's hard to wrap my head around the fact that a year has gone by since Golden made his grand entrance into our lives. We named him Raeli after Nick's Dad's Mothers family...Follow? His middle name Golden, came from a random call I got from Nick before I was even expecting. Out of the blue he said that he knew what our next baby's name would be... "Golden." It just fit and we never changed our minds. It also came from the fact that my Dad tells everyone that your third child is your "GOLDEN" child. Remarkably, he really has been the easiest and happiest of all my kids.
Becoming a mother has changed me so much. At times, in my life before marriage and kids, a big part of who I "felt" I was...revolved around this drive I had to "accomplish" and "achieve." I knew I needed to finish my education, I knew I wanted to serve a mission. I had a list a mile long of what I "needed" to do before I got married. I think I was constantly trying to become someone that "I "could be proud of. I wasn't the the person I wanted to be yet, and at that time in my life, I didn't understand how girls could get married so young and start having kids. That changed the second I looked into Haven's eyes. I knew that nothing I ever accomplished or achieved, or ever might achieve, held a candle to this "Mom" stuff, and if all I ever accomplished was caring for this one baby, It was enough. With every child my love grows, and I think before each one is born......"How is there any room for more love, in my heart?? It's already full to the brim", and then I heard his cry, saw his face, held him for the first time and I knew I couldn't live without him. Love you Golden! Thank you for being my sunshine.