February 4, 2009

Make Time..

Since our trip to Florida, I have been milling over a few things, most of it has to do with my family, most of that is in regard to our kids, and the other part is about time.  When I was 7 years old, my parents divorced.  It was not a dramatic display of emotional upheaval.  It was sad, awkward, strange and lonely.  I was and still am very close to both of my parents.  The difficult thing about divorce is that no matter how amicable the divorce is, as children you feel like a traitor all the time.  You don't know how to show love to one without "thinking" you might be betraying the other.  My parents NEVER played us against each other, it's just the nature of the beast I think.  Considering how bad  divorce is, I say we got the best brand, if there is such a thing.  I bring this up only because something my Dad used to tell me on our two hour car ride back to my Mom's house after a weekend with him.  Every time he dropped me off he would say, "One day, Omi you're not going to want to come with me, and that's okay, don't feel bad.  I will understand."  I thought the man was crazy.  It actually hurt when he said this, it hurts the same to remember now.  I didn't understand why he would think like that. Impossible.  No WAY!  I would always want to be with my Dad.  Years passed, with my Dad making his 4 hour round trip to collect any of his kids, willing to spend a day or two with him.  The day did come.  Truly the thing that breaks my heart is that I don't even remember when it stopped, but, yes, it did stop.  I found "other" things to do, different ways I wanted to spend my weekends, as sure as the sky is blue....it happened.  Years later I told my Dad how sorry I was, and his reply was that he only told me so many times while I was young so I wouldn't be sorry about it later in life.  
On a hectic day, when the kids are wild, the house is a mess, and I'm behind on editing... basically about to loose my mind, I remember my Dad's words, sit down and play with my kids.  As much as I love what I do as a photographer, I don't take every job, I block out a week or two here and there just for them, and I remember that I am a wife and mother before anything else, because I know that pretty soon it's going to be me asking them to play a game or go for a walk.  It's hard work, this parenting thing, and I think we forget sometimes that as much as they need us now, the time will come when they won't.  So....here's to children!  Make time for them so when they do remembered us again, they will have great memories!


                                                                                             photo credit Natalie Norton

16 comments:

Pri*Sila said...

Amen sister! Such a wonderfully sweet post! You tell me this all the time. I love that you are so understanding about anyone and everyone's needs, especially the kiddies. I am fortunate to be your assistant! Thanks for sharing such tender moments. I love ya!

Ronnie said...

This post hit close to home for me...my parents are also divorced. I totally relate with you...you don't want to show favortism to one parent over the other...but sometimes it happens UNINTENTIONALLY! Your post is a great reminder to spend quality time w/ our kids whenever possible. THANK YOU for your insightful post!

Kayleen T. Photography said...

Ahh Omi your kids are so beautiful! And geeze miss your eyelashes are so long! That's what I was thinking during your Dinner Development, "I wish my eyelashes were that long!"

Rina Lasi Photography said...

That is too true, thank you for sharing Omi! Can't wait to chat it up during our Dinner Development as we stuff our faces at one of my fav places-hehe

Vaitai 6 said...

SOOOO TRUE... I try and remember that as I dip further into this art. I am a wife and a mother first. AND divorce is an UGLY beast, no matter how amicable it may be... the pain and hurt continue to affect us all WAY past childhood years. Thank you for sharing this post. So candid and real. AND your children ARE so ADORABLE!!! It's nice to always have perspective in all this.

Sheena Tuakoi.. said...

This is such a beautiful post Omi! I can totally relate to the whole divorce ordeal, and that is exactly how I felt! I always felt as if I was betraying one parent or the other! And my children will always come first no matter what! :) Thanks for sharing! :)

The Finau Family said...

What a beautifully put reminder.. I sooo needed that. My family is at the point where the older ones don't want to play but I have two babies who want to .. I find myself wishing my older ones where small again..
Time goes so fast, before we know it they will have families of their own..

Dawn said...

Thanks for this post. A good reminder of what's really important. Beautiful photos too. You and Natalie are both an inspiration to me in my photography.

Gasu-Matua said...
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Spahulu Photography said...

Thanks for sharing Oms! Its these lil' ones that truly motivate us to keep going everyday...and although they all 3 still sleep in bed with me each night, despite the fact that they have their own rooms, I know I will miss them terribly when they finally decide to sleep in their own beds:)...

Leti Purcell-YoungYen said...

Hi Om,
Haven't dropped by in awhile and I'm glad I did today. I love this! Well I've got to say your parents did great with you kids despite the divorce. All these years I've known you, you always seemed content and stable with great family values. Ok and can I just say I love your dad. I just want to squeeze him every time I see him. He's so little and cute. LOL! Thanks for reminding me of the important things in life. If you ever get a break or need one, call me for lunch! I know I'm not as entertaining as Faye, but your stuck with me since she ditched us. LOL! Talk to you soon.

Love you!

Ana Moleni Fonua said...
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Andee said...

Amen! One day they will be gone. We can't get that time back. So we have to make our one shot at being a parent the best we can. This is our turn. Thanks for reminding me what really matters and where I should be focusing more time.

OMI PHOTOGRAPHER said...

Thanks for the soundboard guys!

I'm Natalie. said...

Oh gol Omi. I have the same thoughts every single day. One day they'll be over me. They won't want to cuddle and kiss and play with their boring old mom any more. I swear I'm grieving it already. :( We've just GOT to make the most of what we have while we have it!

Unga Fam said...

Om.. as much as I LOVE your pictures..I love your words. I miss having these types of discussions with you and I am always so impressed by your ability to put things in perspective. I miss you and love you,
Nat Nat