January 7, 2010

With Nothing....but the gift of Prayer.

I don't feel prepared to write this blog.
my heart is speaking to my mind, but the words don't mix.
I want to pull the feelings from my heart,
but they don't sound right.

Seconds before I was rushed off to the hospital to deliver my first baby, Natalie and Richie stood in the door of my house with sacks full of groceries. We then rushed to find Nick who was still working. I was ill prepared for the longest night of my life. Labor was intense..18 hours. In the thick of it, at the height of the pain, my mom and my husband fell asleep. I kept calling out to them, and they'd awake for a few seconds only to dose off again. Alone. I was so scared. The pain was literally swallowing me up. The dark was suffocating me. I felt like Jesus." I mean no disrespect. I litteraly felt, for the first time....like I understood a small part of what it was like for the Savior at Gethsemane. He was alone, left by his loved ones to fulfill his purpose. I realized no one could lift my burden. I felt abandoned. Everyone, with all their love and support stood on the side lines. The sun peaked. The pain ended and was replaced by the greatest gift, the First great thing I would ever accomplished. My daughter. Life.

Natalie and Richie wove their way into our hearts long ago. when I think of that day 6 years ago...that first TERRIBLE night and the first GREAT day of my whole life, I always see their kind smiles and willing hands. Tonight life hangs in the balance for my dear friend's child. Their son Gavin contracted RSV and a sever case of Pertussis while visiting Utah. He's a tiny 8 weeks old. On my drive to the hospital I worried. I wanted to help, but knew I was on the sidelines this time. The only thing I could think of was to collect sacks full of groceries. Masked, I was able to spend some time with her and see Gavin. His body was covered with tubes and wires, barely hanging on to life. I had no words to express how my heart was breaking for her. Natalie has unwavering faith, and an air of strength like very few I've ever known. I didn't want her to see the tears in my eyes, and hear the crack in my voice. It seemed so wrong that I'd have the luxury of crying as she stood fearless in the ICU. Still, as a mother I know her soul is shaking and her heart is in unrelenting pain. I know she feels like Jesus. No one can lift her burden. She stands willing. Unable to let her mind wander into the "what ifs" I know she'd except God's will for her and her child, but she refuses to let faith falter during her battle.

Please pray for my friend, as a mother, as a daughter, father, son, or friend of another, that her faith will keep her and our prayers will reach them. As a helpless by standard I have no other gift. You can read about Gavin's updates here..

Thank you.

photo credit Natalie Norton

12 comments:

-Written Reflections and Photos- said...

I'm sorry to hear about your friend Omi. I hope and pray her son lives and is back to normal. Losing a child is the most devastating thing a mother could go through. It can rip even the strongest of persons apart. Stay strong for her that's the best thing you can do. You're a good friend. I'll keep her and her son in my prayers.

Love,
Mena

OMI PHOTOGRAPHER said...

You're so sweet Mena. I thought of you alot this week. Thank you for the prayers.

Seini Photography said...

I remember meeting her at WPPI with you and can't even imagine what she is going through. I don't know Natalie personally but as a mom my heart goes out to her. Our prayers are with her family and Gavin. Been following her updates on FB and hopefully he will pull through and recover soon. Best wishes to the Norton family.

Myrn Photography said...

Hi Omi,

Its one of those things that are hard to explain.. because it comes naturally. To love your child more than life itself. We are praying for Natalie and her sweet boy and hope that he gets better soon. We will also keep her friends in our prayers too, because we know they are somewhat feeling what she's feeling.

Alofa tele,

The Matinas

OMI PHOTOGRAPHER said...

Thanks you two!

Aubrey Taiese said...

Beutiful Om! She is in my prayers....Love you!

OMI PHOTOGRAPHER said...

Friends. I just recieved word that Baby Gavin has passed. Please still pray for Natalie and Richie. I can't tell you how desperate I am to know how to help them.

Puanani Tuiolosega said...

Oh Omi, I am so sad to hear that he passed away :(. I know Natalie is your dear friend! We have been praying heavily for the Nortons and for baby Gavin's recovery over the last several days, and while this news is truly heart-wrenching, it is comforting to know that he is in a better place and without pain anymore. He must've been such a special spirit for Heavenly Father to call him home so quickly. As a mom, I cannot begin to imagine what Natalie is feeling, but after reading her blog posts, I know her faith is unwavering and that it will help her through the tough times ahead. The Nortons will continue to be in our prayers!

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry omz I remember when they came to say goodbye to u when we were coming back from Hawaii. I know she inspired ur photography and how much u luvd their family. So heartbreaking. U know I luv ya and well call me if u wanna talk:)

Macy said...

My heart just broke today when I read about Gavin. I don't know Natalie, but I love her blog and so many of her articles have been a huge help to me in learning and refining my photography.

My mom died 10 years ago this month. The best advice I can give in terms of what to do, you have already done. Just go be there. Do the things that no one thinks of. Like groceries. While we were so grateful our Relief Society sisters and friends brought us meals, we still had to go out to the grocery store to get milk and eggs. And no one really felt like going. It can be laundry, or shoe polishing, or whatever you can see that needs to be done, but that she won't think to ask for.

Another great service that was given to our family was by two of my mom's best friends. They took a video camera around to my mom's Young Women and other friends that knew her and asked them to talk about her. Then they made us a video with photos and those interviews. It's one of the most precious things we have. Another friend took beautiful photos at the graveside. They were hard to look at for a long time, but we were in such a haze, it was nice to look back and see how many people were there to support and love us at such an awful time.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, it will come to you what to do.

Dasl*it Photography said...

My family prayers go out to them.. Its the hardest when its to babies, and they cant tell you what hurts.. As a mother I feel her pain, and pray the Lord takes her family through this safely..

sepa said...

this so beautifully written. xox