The oldest child in a family has the unfortunate experience of being subject to complete incompetent parenting. On my way to the hospital 8 years ago, THAT realization totally freaked me out. The second I laid eyes on her I knew I would do anything for her. It was such a powerful feeling, I no longer worried about my incompetence........ I SHOULD have. I've always expected a lot of her...as do most parents of their firstborn. She is unique. Her spirit is her own. She is the most beautiful girl in my world. To love anyone is to hurt, but to love a child is to turn your heart inside out. I ache when she's in pain, or struggling, and her happiness and her development has made me feel better than anything I've ever been able to do on my own. I love you miss Haven. Always.